just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
