It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I think i peed on brittanys purse
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
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