on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
