I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Randomize
