she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
