I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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