i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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