what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
