so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
