his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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