At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
the day after is always just damage control
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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