I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
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