My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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