i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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