My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
