im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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