Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
