For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
