butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
