im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
