I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Randomize
