The maid of honor just puked.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
