What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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