you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I think your dad took our porno
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
