like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Barsexuality is the new black.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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