That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Randomize
