They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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