i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
