the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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