the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
