I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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