oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
