Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
