we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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