the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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