i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
