it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
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