Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
