I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
