508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
