I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
