This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
