I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
