So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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