This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Come share oat with me in your robe
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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