I just pynch a tree in the face
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Randomize
