Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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