like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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