Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
third nipple confirmed
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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