Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
