I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
