Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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