I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
