wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
